Let's Talk About Me
Donald Trump violates the golden rule on leadership communications.
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and other MRI supporters with a click of this orange button.The three most powerful words for any leader are “you,” “we,” and “us.” They suggest a unity of purpose and reflect the true nature of servant leadership, a philosophy where leaders prioritize the growth and well-being of people and communities over their own personal ambitions
The three most corrosive words in leadership: “I,” “me,” and “my.” They put the leader’s ambitions ahead of the team’s and reflect a culture of division and distrust. The three presidents I covered for The Associated Press and The Atlantic — Bill Clinton, George W. Bush, and Barack Obama — spoke mostly from the you/we/us frame but slipped into the first-person singular voice enough to draw criticism.
But nobody nails narcissism like President Donald Trump. In a vainglorious Memorial Day address, he paused briefly from honoring himself and airing his grievances to memorialize fallen war heroes.
"Their valor gave us the freest, greatest and most noble republic ever to exist on the face of the earth — a republic that I am fixing after a long and hard four years.”
And there it is. The ever-present pivot to “I.” A republic that I am fixing.
He also took a partisan shot at his predecessor, former commander in chief Joe Biden. “People pouring through our borders unchecked, people doing things that are indescribable — and not for today to discuss,” Trump said, choosing nonetheless this solemn day to discuss his deportation agenda.
At the sacred Arlington National Cemetery, Trump also mused about returning to office for a second term in time to host soccer’s World Cup and the Summer Olympics, two scheduling coincidences that Trump called divine intervention.
On Truth Social, he posted a message that did not mention veterans but wished a “HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY TO ALL, INCLUDING THE SCUM THAT SPENT THE LAST FOUR YEARS TRYING TO DESTROY OUR COUNTRY THROUGH WARPED RADICAL LEFT MINDS.”
Nice, sir. Let’s talk about your grievances.
But here’s my question: Is narcissism the new normal for presidential messaging? Is the value of you/we/us overstated? Or might Americans welcome a return of inclusive language to the Oval Office?
The understated solemnity of the Oval Office never failed to hit me. For hundreds of visits during my journalism career in Washington, I took note of the humble power of the office, decorated for presidents and not kings.
But now under Trump it’s decorated like “a gilded rococo hellscape,” according to a photo essay in the New York Times. “Dictator chic,” one wag called it. Some lowlights:
“There is a parade of golden objects that march across the mantel, relegating the traditional Swedish ivy to a greenhouse. Gilded Rococo wall appliqués, nearly identical to the ones at Mr. Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate, are stuck to the fireplace and office walls with the same level of aesthetic consideration a child gives her doll’s face before covering it in nail polish.”
“Regarding the office’s artwork, Mr. Trump, a man with a more-is-more sensibility, chose what decorators call a gallery hang. A dozen or so gold-framed presidential portraits crawl up the walls of the Oval Office. Just outside his office there’s even a copy of his mug shot printed on the front page of The New York Post.”
“The most unusual additions to the office are two gilded mirrors that hang on either side of the fireplace. This is so quintessentially Mr. Trump that I’m surprised he didn’t think of it earlier. When standing in front of one, your reflection joins the pantheon of great leaders above you. It’s just like they say: In America anyone can grow up to become president.”
Under Trump, the Oval Office is a house of mirrors. It’s all about him.
Trump promised at nearly every campaign stop in 2024 that he would end the Ukraine War on his first day in office. Not only has he missed that deadline by four months but now he may abandon the effort.
While reporting that Trump is considering more sanctions for Russia, the Wall Street Journal dropped this paragraph.
Trump is also tiring of the peace negotiations and is considering abandoning them altogether if a final push doesn’t work, people familiar with his thinking said, a remarkable change for a leader who campaigned on his ability to end the conflict on his first day in office. It is unclear what would happen if the U.S. retreats from the peace process and whether Trump would continue to provide military support to Ukraine.
I have five guesses about what would happen if Trump walks away from Ukraine.
It would greatly please Russian President Vladimir Putin.
The United States would stop sending weapons to Ukraine.
Great chunks of Ukraine would fall to Russia, perhaps Kiev itself.
Trump would falsely blame on Biden and Democrats for losing Ukraine.
He would hang more self portraits in the West Wing’s god-awfully gilded halls.
AP legend Harry Rosenthal teaches a young writer how to fashion a lede.
“The three most powerful words in leadership are: ‘you,’ ‘we,’ and ‘us.’”
That insight from our friend, the esteemed journalist Ron Fournier, captures a core truth about public leadership—especially in the presidency.
Presidents are meant to be stewards of the people’s trust, not lead actors in a one-man show. And yet, the modern presidency is increasingly distorted by self-reference, grievance, and ego. What once was the people's office now too often resembles a stage for personal drama.
Strength without humility is bluster. Humility without strength is impotence. Real leadership—durable, credible leadership—requires both. Ronald Reagan exemplified this balance, as did leaders like Dwight Eisenhower, who blended resolve with restraint. Reagan governed with confidence and grace. His “Morning in America” campaign and response to the Challenger disaster showed belief in American resilience while humbly centering the people, not himself. His rhetoric matched his actions, like building bipartisan support for tax reform to uplift the nation. By contrast, Trump often speaks in the first person—framing national issues as personal battles, victories, or vendettas. Even when he appeals to “we the people” with economic populism, his rhetoric frequently pivots to personal vindication, such as claims of being unfairly targeted, which can overshadow policy achievements and deepen division.
This isn’t just about language. It’s about the kind of country we want to be. One where leadership uplifts, includes, and binds us—or one that reflects only the leader’s image.
No era was flawless, but strength was once quieter, humility louder. We need both back to restore a presidency that serves the people first.
Having to watch Trump over this long three day weekend disrespect all the veterans who served and those that lost their lives for this country and our constitution literally sickened me. How his supporters rationalize this behavior is beyond me.