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Bob's avatar

Subject: RE: Final Autopen Authorization – Confirmed via B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.

Per White House process:

All clemency actions must be cleared by the Bureau for Unified Legal Language, Signature Handling, and Institutional Transparency (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).

Steps:

POTUS says something (allegedly).

Zients or Siskel hears it (possibly).

An assistant’s assistant writes it up as a “blurb.”

Blurb enters the B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. pipeline.

Final clearance is issued by the Bureau Authorization Review Facilitator (B.A.R.F.).

Once B.A.R.F. signs off, autopen engages.

At no point is it required for the President to touch paper, a pen, or reality.

If further clarification is needed, please submit Form BARF-17B: “Request for Retroactive Presidential Awareness.”

— Acting Vice Liaison, B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. Oversight Division

(more tomorrow)

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Michael PRICE's avatar

Do we even believe this already incriminating version?

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